Recession-Proof Holiday Gifts Just For YOU!

Merry Christmas! Happy Solstice! Happy Hannukah! Krazy Kwanza!
Whatever it is you celebrate one thing is certain: this holiday's gift giving is going to be tight. You are absolutely correct. So how do you appease your economical stance and still get something groovy and nifty to give. Well here's how:
From your friendly author, Eric Mays, I'm doing a holiday gift thing. If you haven't read "Naked Metamorphosis" then pick up a copy for yourself and/or someone you love. If you've read it, then you know it's good. Give it as a gift. Or, if you hated it, give it to somebody you hate and the joke's on them! Either way, you win.
In the words of the late Billy Mays (no relation), "But wait, there's more!"
This is the gift that gives back. When you purchase a copy of Naked Metamorphosis on Amazon, email me and let me know (ericm@witty.com). When you do that I will write a story just for you. It'll be a Shakespearean short story using you as the character. Don't want that? Send me another person and I'll do the same. The story will employ Shakespearean devices, your characters lineage, and your method of demise. Oh yeah! Suck on that English 101 teacher!!
I'll mail this to you - snail mail, not email - and you'll have a hard copy story you can always cherish.
So, to repeat:
1.) Naked Metamorphosis makes a great gift!
2.) You get a freebie gift personalized for you!
3.) You'll get a warm fuzzy feeling in the cockles of your heart knowing that you're supporting an independent artisan...me!

Act now! This offer is only good until December 18th.

Go, go, go...